You’ve made the decision to try your hand at adult dating. You want a bit of fun. You don’t want to be tied down. You might have a partner at home. You might be single with no time to embark on an emotional relationship. You might be a fan of multiple partners just because of the thrill it gives you. Whatever the reason, you’re here looking at adult dating because you want to give it a try, right? If this is your first time, you are in for an exciting ride!
There are so many adult dating websites out there, either for extra marital affairs or no strings attached dating. It can be hard to know which one to go for, or what approach to put to work first. This is your first time, and it can all seem overwhelming.
When it comes to finding the right website for you, it pays to shop around, so to speak. Look for one that works in your favour. For example, if you are a guy looking for a hot girl, you don’t really want an adult dating website with 60% or more males, do you? That’s basically a sausage fest right there. How can you expect to pull a hot chick when you are fighting off a bunch of other guys at the same time?
The same thing applies to the ladies out there – if you are looking for a hot guy, don’t go for a website that is predominantly female based. There are some great websites out there, and it can often make sense to sign up with more than one. For example, there’s nothing wrong with making use of the free female membership with one site, and then paying for a subscription elsewhere. You might as well make use of the freebie!
(Guys, this means that more girls will sign up to it so you might as well give it a bash too! It’s like free female entry nights in clubs – there’s always LOADS of girls there!)
Another thing you’re going to want to look for when you sign up is how many people are coming up in your area. What’s the point in joining an adult dating site with the closest member is one hundred miles away? You won’t be bothered to travel all that way all the time, so it’s only going to be a one night thing, if it ends up being a thing at all? Use the search function – that’s what it’s there for.
Generic dating websites are not going to help you here. There is normally a NSA button that you can check when you sign up to them but you will more than likely find that the people on these sites are looking for something a bit more than a casual fling. A bit of advice for you – don’t waste your time with them. Go straight for the NSA and adult dating ones and you will have much better luck!
There are four massive reasons why people get caught when they have marital affairs and, for the most part, each of the four reasons is down to plain stupidity. If you’re going to cheat on your partner, you need to be smart. You need to come up with a story that works, and you need to come up with lies to cover your ass that doesn’t arouse too much suspicion.
On top of all of these things, you need to be one step ahead of yourself at all times. For example, do you leave yourself logged in on the extra marital affair website you have joined up to, just closing the browser when you’re done to finally meet your partner in bed an hour later than them? This is where my friend Kate got caught. She closed the browser and didn’t clear her history. She didn’t log herself out either. In fact, she asked the browser to remember her details by mistake, but didn’t really think about it.
The next morning, her husband Pete came downstairs and hopped online. Just as he went to type in “HSBC.co.uk” to check his bank balance, the website “haveanaffair.tv” came up, he clicked on it, and because she hadn’t logged herself out, he was able to bypass the password details because she had accidentally told her browser to remember them, and read EVERY message she had sent and received on the website.
Honestly, how could Kate have been so stupid? It’s simple things like this that will get you into trouble. You don’t expect your partner to come down in the morning and type in a “h”, bringing up the website you had happened to be on the night before. You didn’t realise that asking the browser to remember your details would be quite so catastrophic.
Now do you see what I mean by needing to be one step ahead. Do yourself a favour and delete your browser history, always log out of the website you are on, and never, ever ask it to remember your details. There is even a setting on most internet options where you can request the history be deleted whenever you close the browser itself… There really is no excuse. There’s even a “private” browsing option on the iPhone that doesn’t save your search history, cookies, or websites you may have clicked on.
Now think about your phone… How often do you leave it lying around? What about this morning when your phone was on the bedside cabinet and you hopped in the shower, leaving your partner still in bed. It would have taken no time at all for he or she to pick up your phone and start reading your messages. Do you have a lock on your phone? Does your partner know it? It might be time to change it and not let them know. If you have a tendency to share phones, or they use yours a lot, get yourself a secret phone that is ALWAYS on silent and is NEVER out of your sight.
There are a few other tips that you will need to learn before you embark on your adulterous journey. Never use a shared or joint bank account to pay for anything that you are doing that is related to your affair. For example, lunches in towns you are meant to be in, or hotels or nights that you were meant to have been working really late. Always pay in cash with your lover, if you can.
So there you have it – the common mistakes made by people cheating on their partners, and how to get around them without landing yourself in the poop. These are lessons learned from experiences, and once you’ve had a few near misses, you’ll soon see how fast you can learn!
You must have heard of the term “friends with benefits” by now. We live in the 21st century… Surely we’re all aware of this by now?
The term friends with benefits is something that refers to two friends who are NOT dating, or are not romantically attached in any way, but have sex regularly, or every now and again. Friends… with benefits. The name kinda gives it away, don’t you think?
Mila Kunia and Justin Timberlake made a film about it. Two people, not emotionally involved, sleeping together when it suited them. Of course, in the film, Mila and Justin’s characters fall in love and probably have that happy-ever-after thing that so many girls lust after. It’s not always like this though. Sometimes the encounter just sort of fizzles out…
Take my friend Amalie. She’s a 20-something year old girl that doesn’t particularly want to settle down. She got married when she was 18 and was divorced by the time she was 24. She’d done the settling down thing, she wasn’t looking to start popping out kids at any point soon, and she really enjoyed travelling the world. She did travel the world, one boyfriend at a time, but she realised that every breakup tore her to little shreds.
Taking back all of her “girl power”, she decided to make a change. She didn’t want companionship because she had a male best friend that fulfilled the “boyfriend” role (although they never had sex), and a couple of really close girlfriends that she loved hanging out with as often as she could. She had a part time job and also freelance web-designed on the side, and to be honest, she never really had time for a relationship.
Instead of the relationship, she opted for causal sex with a guy that she had known for about ten years. They had never dated. They were never romantically attached. They were just two people that happened to have known each other for a really long time, and once day decided to have a few drinks and jump in bed together. The result was simply mind-boggling. She had the best sex of her life, climaxing more times than she ever thought possible, and he revelled in the happiness that a great night with a hot woman brings.
It was an explosive reunion, but one that neither of them wanted to recreate outside of the bedroom. To this day, they sleep together roughly once every 12-14 months (when they see each other) and although they rarely talk in between these times, they simply pick up where they left off every time. It’s quite cute to see them really. Cute and weird.
It works for them, and it works for so many other people too. Relationships don’t always fit in with our 21st century lifestyles and with jobs, travelling, going to music gigs, drinking in bars with friends, going pole dancing in a bid to keep fit, shopping for new shoes and trying to maintain a healthy family life, there really isn’t a lot of time left over for a man.
Does it really mean that the average hard working woman should give up sex as well as the relationship? Amalie didn’t think so and to be honest, we envy the way she lives her life. She has a couple of guys that she “circles” around every once in a while, plus the male best friend to do all the things that boyfriends are meant to do minus the sex, and she is the happiest we’ve ever seen her.
So I guess that’s what “friends with benefits” means…there are plenty of casual friendship web sites that cater to this type of niche dating as well! Check them out.
Casual sex dating isn’t something you can go into with a closed mind, that’s for sure. A lot of people turn their noses up at this new, “free” style of dating and we’ll be honest; it’s not something that suits everyone. In fact, more people are against a casual dating than for it, if conversations with our friends, family and work colleagues are anything to go by.
Casual dating is often interpreted as meaningless sex. To some extent, it is just that, but in other respects, there’s a lot more to it. For example, those with busy lives or unloving spouses turn to dating casually in a bid to fill a hole or void in their life. Why should they miss out on amazing sex and intimacy just because they don’t have time for a relationship? Or because their other half doesn’t fancy a bit of slap n’ tickle?
Despite common misconceptions, casual dating isn’t always about throwing your genitalia at anyone brave enough to accept it. It’s about keeping your options open. What’s the point in spending a couple of years with someone, just for companionship and sex, when you pretty much know that you won’t be marrying them or living the happy ever after dream? It’s just wasting your time and theirs, isn’t it?
By indulging in a spot of casual dating, you are learning more about yourself, as well as learning more about the kind of person you are compatible with. You’ll learn the things that you won’t stand for, plus how much of a compromise you would be willing to make to ensure the other persons happiness. After all, the art of a good relationship is compromise. Casual dating is just the lead up to this.
Is there really something so wrong about casual dating? As we’ve mentioned, there’s no point in wasting time with people that you know you won’t end up being with for the long term. Keeping your options open just seems like a sensible way of doing things, much like shopping around for a new mobile phone contract. What’s the point in committing to something when you aren’t sure whether or not it’s going to work?
Of course, there are some “rules” or “guidelines” that you should follow if you plan on casual sex dating. For example, safe sex ensures YOUR sexual safety, as well as the sexual safety of those you are casually dating. You should probably apply an honesty policy to the matter too — always make sure that the person you are dating is well aware that this is a casual thing. The last thing you are going to want to do is break anyone’s heart. It just makes things too complicated when both parties aren’t heading in the same direction and, trust us, that’s just not fun!
Above all else, make sure you have fun. The whole point of this is to sow your wild oats, as such, and learn about yourself. As long as you are honest about what you are looking for, and don’t string anyone along, who are you really hurting?
Casual sex dating might sound seedy and uninviting but in this day and age where both men AND women have many more choices open to them, it makes sense to wait until you are sure you’ve met the “right” person before you settle down, get married, have babies and live the fairytale dream that, apparently, everyone is looking for.
The thing is not everyone is looking for that fairytale dream ending. We have busy schedules now, and money is tight with the recession. Who wants to waste both time and money on awkward first dates and uncomfortable second dates, when you can enjoy a bit of casual sex with someone you have a laugh with, and don’t need to worry about the pressure of commitment or monotony… Sorry, monogamy!;)
Many women are afraid to try casual dating for fear of being called all manner of bad names. Most women that casually date choose to keep things on the “down-low” and to be honest, this isn’t a bad tactic. The last thing you’ll want is a name for yourself. No one likes to date the girl with the reputation!
Of course, on the other end of the spectrum, you can’t be too “frigid” about things otherwise you won’t get anywhere in life! If you see a hot guy in the supermarket and he’s not rocking a wedding ring, what’s to stop you sliding over and striking up a conversation? You won’t get anywhere if you don’t try, and you’ll kick yourself for not saying hi! Ask for his number… Most men will be quite surprised by how forward you’ve been, but at the same time, ask any guy and they’ll tell you it’s quite hot to be approached by a chick for a change!
If you’re not having fun with a potential suitor, make sure you cut all ties before it goes too far. We’ve all dated THAT guy that wouldn’t leave you alone after you apparently broke his heart. If it’s not working, or you sense he’s more into things than you are, don’t brush it under the carpet. It won’t get any better. In fact, he’ll just get worse. Before you know it, he’ll be singing you love songs through your bedroom window in the middle of the night. Honestly, “the obsessee” is not a guy you want to lead on…
That’s the other thing you’ll need to learn about casual sex relationships… If you’re going to explore your sexuality and have fun, STOP PICKING THE SAME GUYS! Why not think outside the box and opt for guys you wouldn’t normally date. After all, you have no intentions of dating them out of the bedroom anyway…. You’ll be surprised at how many men and women have casual sex relationships with people they’d normally try and date anyway. What’s the point in that?!
The good thing about casual sex is the fact that you can experiment a little. You don’t need to impress these partners quite so much as you have no intentions of staying with them for the long term. Why not have fun with your sexuality and think outside of the box? Have the sexual experiences you never had the balls to have. What’s the worst that could happen…? You’ll never see them again? No one said it was serious anyway! 😉 There are loads of online web sites that cater for those who are just looking for sex or casual relationships – all over the world, including one of my favourites countries for nsa dating – South Africa. Go there are see for yourself!
NSA dating = no strings attached dating. That’s pretty much as simple as it gets really. You have sex with someone, and then that’s it. Well, until you see them again for sex, of course. You don’t need to date them, you don’t need to move in together, there’s no pressure to have babies and get married and find a big house to live in, in the country with three horses, a dog, a cat, a hamster and a goldfish. It’s easy. It’s breezy. It’s literally no strings attached!
NSA Dating… Why?!
I’m a big fan of the NSA dating because it offers me so many MORE things than a relationship can offer me. Firstly, I don’t need the things in a relationship that a man can give me because I am already in one. The only time I need the NSA men that I date is in the bedroom… My husband doesn’t screw me like these other guys do. I don’t need to worry about seeing them again either so I can do pretty much what the hell I like. If I fancy a bit of anal fun, I don’t need to worry about my husband thinking I’m a dirty harlot. You can replace harlot with whatever word you like, I’m sure you get my drift.
There are some things you can’t do with your “regular” partner or husband. There are things you might be too embarrassed to admit to liking, or things he’s made very clear he doesn’t like. Relationships are meant to be based on compromise but sadly, this is rarely the case.
There are a whole bunch of reasons as to why the popularity of NSA dating has grown. Revenge sex is a clear winner here, with so many people opting of a night of no strings attached sex in a bid to get their back on a partner that has done them wrong. Revenge sex is always the best sex. It’s nasty sex! 😉
Men often turn to no strings attached dating to get something they might not get at home with their wives. After the kids come along, sex is one of the first things that normally goes down the pan and you know… he has needs and urges. Just because she’s not desiring it, doesn’t mean that he isn’t. It doesn’t mean he loves her any less… It just means that he’s not getting everything he needs at home. If she NEVER finds out, who is it hurting?
Once you’ve been with a partner for a while, things can fizzle out. You might lose the sex, you could lose the romance; you could lose everything that once sparkled about your relationship. This is a classic example of trying to rekindle the butterflies you first felt when you meet someone – the first flush of romance where your heart flips when you touch him in a saucy manner, or your breathing becomes shallow as he flirts his lips along your neckline. You won’t get that same feeling once you’ve been with someone for a little while, and it’s a sensation that many people crave. NSA dating gives you the opportunity to experience those butterflies over and over again… with new partners every time, or just when you have lost the spark.
Some people indulge in a little NSA dating whilst they already have a loving partner at home because they don’t feel wanted or desired by their full-time lovers. A lack of sex, romance, money, too much fighting, kids getting in the bed at night, worries at work… All of these things can lead to the decline of a sex life within a relationship. A little no strings attached sex fun on the side isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but for some, it just works. If you’ve read my other articles, NSA dating is remarkably popular in one of my most favourite countries in the world – South Africa. For such a relatively small country, there are lost of web sites in this sectors with thousands of members! Check it out!
In the internet age that we have found ourselves in, we are faced with more and more choices, especially when it comes to things like dating. The internet has opened a wealth of opportunities in so many areas, but with dating, it’s become very handy. You are able to meet thousands of people at the touch of a button, and you will come across people that you might not otherwise have come across. Internet dating is no longer seen as “dirty” or “seedy” as it was a few years ago, and in turn, it means that sex can be found just as easily as a relationship. With one in four relationships now starting in one online format or another, it makes sense that sexual encounters would follow suit.
Finding the right site to use can be as simple as using Google to perform a little search. When you open the browser and type in “google.com” however, what are you going to write? Are you looking for an “extramarital affair” with someone that can be as discreet as you need them to be? Are you looking for something to satisfy your needs this evening as you have nothing to do? Are you looking for someone to finally fulfil that ultimate desire you have been burning to tell someone about? You need to know what you’re looking for before you go looking for it. That’s just common sense really!
There are a lot of different niche adult dating websites, to deal with the above situations we’ve mentioned and more. That’s the trick about having success with them – you need to find the right one for you. There are websites like www.haveanaffair.tv and which are designed to help those married or with partners looking for a bit of extra fun. There are websites designed for “Cougar” dating – younger guys looking for older women and vice versa. There are no-strings-attached websites for those looking for someone just to fill a space for a short time in the bedroom. Which one is applicable to you? What is it that you are looking for?
Once you’ve found the perfect niche adult dating site for you, you need to create a sparkling profile that will attract interest from those that you want to take to bed. You need to be funny, to the point, and honest. A good profile pic will help matters too! (Of course!)
Of course, you will need to make sure that you are being safe on the website you are using. There are some “extra-marital” websites that are private investigators trying to catch you out. The last thing you want is your partner finding out about your business, so make sure that you read reviews of the websites you are using, and only use one that you are sure is what it says on the tin. There are a lot of scams out there, and a lot of websites that are made up of fluff and fake profiles. Make sure you are using a good one, not only to protect yourself, but also to protect those that you are trying to avoid hurting.
Right, let’s get down to business. You’re not busy tonight and you want something, or someone, to occupy your time. You don’t have time to fluff about and try to hook up with silly girls in packed nightclubs. Who has time for that these days? Surely we’re all too busy and grown up to do that kind of rubbish now?
There’s some good news and some bad news here. The good news is that you can meet someone to a great night right now. The bad news is that you’re going to need to sign up to an internet dating service to get it. There are some GREAT hook up sites out there to use to get laid tonight… Have you got a few moments to spare to fill out some personal details? 😉
These sites are perfect for people that don’t want to mess around. These sites are perfect for people that know what they want, and don’t want to have to wait to get it. He says yes, she says yes… What are they waiting for?
There are a couple of sites out there to hook up with hot dates and get a shag tonight. It’s not all seedy one night stands and seedy men looking to finally score. Some of these sites are classy and sophisticated… You just need to know where to find them!
One of the best sites that you’ll come across when looking for tonight’s hook up is womenlookingforsex.co.uk. It’s not seedy in the slightest, but this doesn’t mean that you won’t get lucky. A few questions is all it takes before you’re signed up and ready to play, and when you consider that it’s free for women to join, both guys and gals have a great time. The freebie offer entices in the women, which means more of them for the guys to choose from. And girls, why wouldn’t you appreciate a freebie registration to a site that is pretty much guaranteed to get you lucky tonight? If you are looking for more cuddly women, then we can heartily recommend hotbbwdating.com
There are a number of other websites that you can take a look at… NoStringsAttached.com is under £20 a month, and with roughly two women to one man, everyone’s a winner… You basically have a 50/50 chance whether you’re a dude or a chick!
Of course, there are a few others that we can add to the list too. xmatch.com is one that seems to come pretty highly rated by anyone that uses it, and there’s also EroticAffairs.com and AffairsClub.com. It would appear that this “hobby” is more prolific than you thought, huh?
However my best recommendation goes to lookingforsex.eu does exactly what it says on the label! Lots of hot European totty looking for shags….you need to see this site to believe it. The women are sexsational!
Now, before we let you run riot on the casual dating scene, we feel that there are a couple of things that you should probably know. First of all, be very wary of other websites than those we have mentioned. There are a lot of weird “Private Investigator” type websites on there that will just lead to you getting caught; something you won’t want if you are married or in a relationship.
If it seems that you are being asked for more details than necessary, such as a specific address or a telephone number, you probably should quit filling in your details. Also, if the people you are sexing up never seem to want to meet, or want to talk to you on the phone, there is a good chance that they are leading you on or hiding something. In short, if you’re uncomfortable giving someone those details, step away from the computer and just go with one of the sites we have mentioned. Honestly… is it worth getting caught out?
Having an affair isn’t easy. It’s not something you can openly admit to, to very many people, so help is something that won’t be easily found. When you indulge in a little extra-marital activity, there are a few things that you will earn to expect. There’s the paranoia, the rumours, the lies, and everything else involved with having an affair.
The key to having a successful affair is managing to get into it, and out of it, with no one else finding out or getting hurt. Sadly, this is something not easily achieved and something as simple as a forgotten receipt or a slip of the tongue will drop you well and truly in the poop.
Having an affair isn’t something that you should get into lightly. It’s not simply a case of having bit of slap and tickle on the side to help you get through the lonely nights when you are away from your partner/not loved by your partner/can’t remember the last time you had sex with your partner… There are so many things that you need to think about – can you honestly say that you’ve got your game plan sorted?
An affair involves a lot of lying so if this is something you are not good at, it would probably be wise to just avoid doing it. I can’t lie to save my life but over the years that I have (on and off) cheated on my other half, I’ve learned to keep things simple. That’s the trick to keeping your affair a secret – the simpler you keep your tales, the more likely you are to remember them. My memory is atrocious and, as yet, I’ve never been found out. You’ll learn to adapt over time, but at first, you’re going to be all over the place.
You should NEVER, EVER get into a situation where you are having an affair with someone you or your partner knows. Always have an affair with a complete stranger. If it’s anyone close to you or your loved one, it WILL go sour. It WILL go wrong. Things are not going to end well. It’s just too close to home.
Always have an alibi, where possible. It might be worth confiding in a great friend that will cover your ass when you get into hot water. It’s not easy and you will need to expect a lecture, especially if they are a GREAT friend, but they will be there when you need them… You’ll learn who your real friends are, that’s for sure. If you have someone that can cover you with a simple “Oh yeah, she was at mine then…”, you’ll find a way of getting yourself out of any potentially sticky situations. Work is a great way to cover yourself, but not if you use the line too often.
Although you should have an alibi, make sure that is the only person you tell. Anymore than this and you are quite literally playing with fire. People WILL talk, and the fact that you have already told just the one person is putting yourself at risk, to be honest. If they don’t need to know, don’t tell them. They don’t need to know what you are doing each and every moment of the day.
Above all else, never keep a paper trail of your events. If you stay at a hotel, pay in cash or ask to use your NSA partner’s credit card. In this digital day and age, it will take just five minutes to transfer the money over to him or her. At least then you can say you lent the money to a friend rather than staying at the “King George Hotel”. As I’ve said, keep things simple. Lending the money to a friend is as easy explanation. If you make it any more complicated than this, you’re going to forget your own story.